Behavior & Behavior Management

This week I was challenged to find my inner teacher, I have to say that I have gained SO much more respect for all that they do. Our teacher this week was Michelle Grimes who is our leaders sister (I miss my sister!) and she talked about behavior and behavior management. Michelle has taught both 4th and 5th grade in an urban school district for fourteen years and has so much knowledge in this area.

This 1st thing that we were challenged with was to think about the difference between DISCIPLINE and PUNISHMENT and list characteristics for each. I never really thought about there being a difference, but this is what I came up with.

        Punishment                                             Discipline

        fear                                                          focused on prevention

        impatient                                                 patient

        all about rules                                         training

        focuses on the problem                         future focused

        past focused                                           understanding/compassionate

        negative focus                                        open to conversation

        short term                                               working through problems

                                                                        long term

Discipline is not a negative thing. God disciplines us, and it's because he loves us. He doesn’t keep remembering the things that we have done over and over again.  

One of the things that I really appreciated Michelle doing was having us work through different situations dealing with children's behavior.  Instead of giving us the situation and pointing out behavior problems and solutions she opened it up to discussion. I learned that there are 4 main reasons for behavior: Revenge, Attention, Power, and Avoidance of Failure.  It was really challenging to put myself in the teachers/leaders position and think of ways to work through the different behaviors. (Dad, Vicki, I have a whole new respect for school social workers!)

Throughout the week I had to work on applying this to my own life and not just look at things through a teachers standpoint.  When we had to make a lesson plan teaching a specific skill or behavior I took a bit of a different approach and planned a bible study that spoke value into the lives of teenage girls coming out of prostitution. 

I am so thankful for this week of teaching, and I know that it is going to be so very beneficial. <<Both in ministry & everyday life>>

local outreach

Metro Ministries is basically a sidewalk sunday school that first started in New york and is now running in several different countries around the world. Metro goes into three different poverty stricken communities of San Jose on the weekends and does programs, but it's not just a program that happens once a week. Renate <the ministry coordinator from Germany> goes to the neighborhoods she works in, and visits the families of the children that come to the program. The kids don't have school right now so they have been doing Vacation Bible Schools as well. This week I got to take part in the follow-up visit with Renate and I had a blast. When we got to the community, the kids ran up to the van and were so excited to see us. We went around and talked with the families and got the chance to really get to know them. I think that is so cool that they do that! It shows them Metro is there for more than the “fun stuff”, but also for the real stuff.  While half of the team was building relationships with the families the other half played with the kids. I miss kids so much so I chose to play =) I cant want to go back and see their faces light up when they see us coming.

Commercial Break

it's just so cute

Inner Healing

When I saw that our topic this week was inner healing, the first thing that went through my head was “great, we are going to have a week of therapy sessions”…….. I am so thankful to say that was NOT the case at all. Christy Scott (our awesome speaker) has been involved in missions and inner healing through her parents' ministry since she was 5 years old. 

Inner Healing is letting God uproot all the lies that we have believed, strongholds that have controlled us, and speaking truth over and over again into those areas of our lives.  It is understanding the things that we have been leaning on instead of God, giving those things to Him, and understanding who He says we are.

Think about the word Hosanna. Do you know what it means? It is in so many of our worship songs and is always part of our Easter services, but what does it actually mean? My first week here I was challenged to look it up, and it has come up so many times since then as well. I finally learned what it means: “save us, someone come and save us.” The word Hosanna really stood out to me this week not only in dealing with my past and my own inner healing, but also just thinking about all the people around the world who have an inner cry of Hosanna.

One thing that I really enjoyed about this week was that she took us through the process of Inner Healing. She introduced the topic of generational curses, (things that get passed down through generations) and also how we make inner vows with ourselves. GUILTY.  I feel like I have such a better idea about what true inner healing is and am excited I now have the tools to help others through some of the struggles that they are facing.

We were able to have a 1 on 1 time with the Christy to ask questions that we had or to continue with the healing process. I was so thankful for this time & it’s probably when the most clarity came.  She connected so many things from my past for me and spoke so much truth into my life!  I found I have to give myself permission to be who I want to be,  to be who God made me to be, and not always try to live up to expectations.  I was challenged to ask God how he sees me, and I was surprised at the response.  All the words describing what other people have been telling me and I rejected were the words that came to my mind.        *LEADER*BEAUTIFUL*GENUINE*KIND*UNIQUE*RELATIONAL*BRIGHT*

I have been praying a lot about outreach lately. So many options have been placed in front of me and they are all SUCH good options! AFRICA? CENTRAL  AMERICA? TIJUANA? NEW ZEALAND? I will keep you updated in my decision making process =)

a framework for action

Our first week of the Children at Risk school has already stirred up many things inside of me. Our speaker this week was Janna Moats who works with the Women & Children's Advocacy centre. She talked to us about, “why we are here” and explained some of the many risks that children face today as well as shared what God’s heart is for children. 

There were a few (ok a lot) of ideas that challenged me. One of the things that stood out to me was when she spoke on, “The Child in the Middle” which explains God’s intentions for a child to be supported and brought up. 

So often we (the church, government) do things for a child thinking it is in their best interest when actually it may not be, because it is not God’s initial plans for the child. I was a little surprised when Janna told us her opinion on orphanages. I guess I always thought they were doing beneficial things, but had never done research on the effects. She told us that God created children to be a part of a family and to be cared for by their parents. It’s interesting to think about how many kids are taken from their homes because of dangerous situations and how many are actually orphans with no one else to take care of them.  The majority of kids have homes/people to take care of them but someone decided it would be better to take them elsewhere.  Of course there are situations when the child should be taken from the family, but when the issue is poverty (which it usually is) the government/organization could come alongside the parents on behalf of the child and possibly help them learn a trade in order to be able to fix the problem and restore the family.

 Why aren’t more organizations doing that? 

Why do we assume that the child shouldn’t be with their family so they will have their physical needs met while the parents (who provides all the emotional needs/unconditional love) are stuck not able to dig themselves out?

 Asking what does the child need/what is in the best interest for them is challenging for me to think about when offering help.  I find myself wanting to help people the way I think is best. However it may not be what God wants, what they want, or what they need. So often we think our ways are best, but we need to help people the way they need help.

 I am so excited to see what awesome things I am going to learn in this school. I know that it is really going to challenge my relationship with God, as well as just how I live my life!

the hole

I heard about this lady who had just moved. She was looking for an apartment, which was extra challenging because she had a dog and most apartments aren’t pet friendly. Finally after a few days, she found a place that would allow her furry friend to live there too. It had a little grassy yard in the back and her dog {let’s call him Rover} loved to play in it. It wasn’t long before Rover dug a huge hole. The lady was so embarrassed as she told the landlord, but he just took a shovel and filled the hole back up. This happened over and over for a month. Rover would dig a hole and the landlord would go fill it up. One day the lady came home from work and peeked nervously into the back yard. To her surprise she saw her landlord planting a tree in the hole.

I really like this story. I tend to spend so much time filling up the holes rather than using them for a bigger purpose. I resist what God is doing, rather than just going with it. Over the past week or so, not much has gone according to plan. Those things are my “holes”. It seems pointless to keep filling them back up only to be dug up again. So now I’m trying to plant “trees” in the holes of my life. To look at what I consider an inconvenient disappointment and “put a tree in it” and see how I can use the situation to grow. It reminds me of the saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”…a.k.a: make the best of every situation. So, I’d like to take my “backyard” that looks like swiss cheese, and turn it into a beautiful forest {with God’s help of course because the trees are too heavy for me to lift}…